11 funny politician quotes - Wordgag

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

May 30, 2026

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

May 29, 2026

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

May 27, 2026

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

May 26, 2026

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

May 26, 2026

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

May 26, 2026

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

May 23, 2026

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

May 22, 2026

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

May 22, 2026

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

May 22, 2026

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

May 19, 2026