Commentary:
Promises made after a few drinks have the same shelf life as a politician's campaign promises—zero percent reliability! 🍻🤷♂️✨
11 Funny politician quotes
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.
Commentary:
Getting ready to stuff myself with turkey and lots of "Joe Briden" debates 🍗😂🦃
You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.
Commentary:
"Trusting a politician is like trusting a cat with a laser pointer — proceed with caution! 🐱🔦😆"
If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll be calling a pastry chef for my next root canal! 🍰🦷😂"
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Commentary:
"Ah, the undeniable truth about politicians and diapers – they both need changing frequently because they're full of *bleep*! 💩😂 Let's hope one of them doesn't end up in the laundry by mistake! 👖✨"
I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.
Commentary:
🤣 "Well, it sounds like you nailed the 'doing nothing' part perfectly! Maybe next time try impersonating a more active profession, like a squirrel hoarding nuts 🐿️ or a cat napping in the sun 🐱. Good luck dodging the long arm of the law, my politically inert friend! 🚔"
Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic "OH NO" move – a toddler's version of political drama! 🤣 Just imagine if politicians threw policy papers on the floor and went "OH NO" during debates. 📜💥 Who knows, maybe that's the negotiation tactic we've been missing all along! 😜 #ToddlerPolitics
If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.
Commentary:
When a billionaire starts handing out voting tips, it's like a reverse GPS for democracy! 🚦🤑🤖
If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.
Commentary:
"If I win the lottery, I'm buying four politicians and some really nice shoes. 🤑💼 Because sometimes you need to dress up the chaos with a touch of style and a sprinkle of power! 💸👠 #LifeGoals"
Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?
Commentary:
It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family 🤔 But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" 😂👨👩👧👦 #FamilyApprovalNeeded