Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Trending via WeChat:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Going bananas on Slack:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my mirror is the only one not offending me these days! 😅🙃 #NarcissistNonsense

dislike, everyone, humor, interaction, life, narcissist, personal, personal life, personality, professional, professional life, relationship, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, everything, fix, fix everything, forehead, forehead kiss, health, humor, illness, irreverent, kiss, lobotomy, mental, mental health, mental illness, therapy
My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

0

2 months ago

cry, crying, expense, finance, humor, joke, me, money, onion, opening, sarcasm, wallet
I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

0

2 months ago

away, bunny, flew, glasses, humor, i, meadow, need, observation, saying, today, vision
Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

0

2 months ago

baby, crying, humor, joke, knows, maybe, parenting, rizz
Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, aging, avocado, excited, excitement, food, humor, lifestyle, welcome
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

0

2 months ago

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Spotted on Telegram:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Just landed via Twitch:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Just landed via Twitch:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Spotted on Messenger:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Just landed via WeChat:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨