Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.
  • Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.
  • Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?
  • I like to take long walks away from stupid people.
  • Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.
  • How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.