Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, Facebook – where time flies faster than your friend request gets accepted. Remember, time waits for no one, but it can sure get lost in your newsfeed if you're not careful!"

Facebook, humor, media, own, pass, procrastination, social, social media, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

42 shares on X this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Trending via Reddit:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Live now on Threads:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨