Commentary:
"Pretty sure my phone buzzes more for cake reminders than for actual calls! 🎂📱😂"
39 Funny Facebook quotes
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.
Commentary:
When you can't decide if you need to clean up for guests or leave everything as evidence! 😅🪑🔪
Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.
Commentary:
When two scared warriors meet for the legendary exchange of mildly used household goods 😅🤝🛍️ #BraveHearts
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Commentary:
Just when you think you've seen it all, Facebook says, "Hold my WiFi!" 😂📱🙈
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.
Commentary:
Facebook memories: the ultimate Roast Master of my romantic past! 😂💔📅
Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.
Commentary:
Looks like I've boarded the alien express and Facebook's driving the spaceship! 👽🚀
If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.
Commentary:
Remember, if they're still poking, they're probably OK! 😆👵📱
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.
Commentary:
"Happy to keep Mark's sandwich fund going! 🥪💻🤣 #FullTimeScroller"
I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”
Commentary:
"Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"
