Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Spotted on Facebook:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Trending via Threads:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Seen just now on X:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Trending via X:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Just shared via X:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

2 months ago

0

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the quintessential festival experience: paying top dollar for the privilege of dirty hair, questionable food choices, and sleeping in a flimsy tent 🎪🤑 Who needs luxury when you've got the authentic homeless chic vibe going on? 😂 #FestivalLife

experience, festival, fortune, fun, homeless, humor, irony, live, living, pay, person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

0

1 month ago

bad, common, common sense, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, sense, thinking
I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, appreciation, award, conditioner, employee, give, humor, i, month, plaque, workplace
I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

0

2 months ago

body, day, exhaustion, fun, hours, humor, i, little, nap, naps, party, rest, schedule, surprise, surprise party, time, used
Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

0

1 month ago

always, bed, beds, comfort, cozy, morning, reluctance, sleep, time, wake, wake up, want
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

5 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

0

1 month ago

carefully, casual, casual dining, choice, dining, fast, fast food, food, food humor, food joke, humor, joke, McRib, pairing, quirky, quirky choice, wine, wine pairing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just shared via WeChat:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Just landed via Slack:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Spotted on Facebook:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Seen just now on Slack:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Spotted on X:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

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