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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,743

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Just landed via Discord:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Making waves on WeChat:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Trending via TikTok:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Just shared via Instagram:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Going viral on Messenger:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Witty quote about festivals costing a fortune to feel like a homeless person.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the quintessential festival experience: paying top dollar for the privilege of dirty hair, questionable food choices, and sleeping in a flimsy tent 🎪🤑 Who needs luxury when you've got the authentic homeless chic vibe going on? 😂 #FestivalLife

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Drive like no one is watching.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Just landed via TikTok:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

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