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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Going viral on Slack:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Making waves on Slack:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spreading quickly via X:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

2 months ago

0

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the quintessential festival experience: paying top dollar for the privilege of dirty hair, questionable food choices, and sleeping in a flimsy tent 🎪🤑 Who needs luxury when you've got the authentic homeless chic vibe going on? 😂 #FestivalLife

experience, festival, fortune, fun, homeless, humor, irony, live, living, pay, person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

0

2 months ago

conversation, days, economy, expectations, friendship, God, guy, humor, i, interaction, later, let, social, social interaction, something, talk
Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

0

3 months ago

27, 30, age, aging, birthday, ever, humor, just, life, old, only, turn, younger, youth
Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

0

2 months ago

back, heartbreak, humor, Instagram, life, media, men, relationships, ruin, social, social media, story, whole
The new American dream is an alien invasion.

0

2 months ago

alien, American, American dream, commentary, dream, humor, invasion, life, modern, modern life, new, satire, societal, societal commentary
Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

0

1 month ago

death, died, disk, floppy, floppy disk, humor, icon, Jesus, metaphor, saving, technology
I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

0

2 months ago

apple, communication, fake, hate, humor, i, people, power, power ranger, ranger, talk, technology, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

12 shares on Threads this month:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

11 shares on X this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,391

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Shared recently on Facebook:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Just landed via Instagram:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Going viral on Threads:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Just shared via WeChat:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Just shared via Snapchat:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Just shared via Reddit:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

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