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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

9 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Making waves on Slack:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Going viral on Threads:

Time needs a speed limit.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Trending via Threads:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Making waves on Facebook:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

6 months ago

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

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Commentary:
"Food and sex – two irresistible temptations in life! 💋🍔 Just like how even the most unappetizing meal starts to seem appealing when you haven't eaten, sometimes a little deprivation can make everything seem enticing. Bon appétit or bon amour, embrace the cravings in moderation! 😉"

abstain, comparison, cravings, desire, food, good, humor, joke, sex, stuff, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

9 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

God saw you do that.

Breaking via TikTok:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Just shared via Twitch:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Just shared via Facebook:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Just shared via Telegram:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

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