Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.
  • Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.
  • Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.
  • I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.
  • Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.
  • I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.