246 Funny comedy quotes

More funny comedy quotes 👇

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  5 months ago

  View →: Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?
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  5 months ago

  View →: The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.
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  5 months ago

  View →: As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!
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  5 months ago

  View →: They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I suffer from awesomnia.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!
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  5 months ago

  View →: My rapper name would be 2 stressd.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Don’t scare me, I fart easily.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

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