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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,300

Funny Quotes Topics

14,215

Funny Quotes Images

11,300

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Breaking via Telegram:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Reported on Messenger:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Just shared via Messenger:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Live now on Discord:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Going viral on WeChat:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Making waves on Telegram:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,300

Funny Quotes Topics

14,215

Funny Quotes Images

11,300

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Reported on Threads:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Making waves on Telegram:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Spotted on Instagram:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Making waves on Telegram:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Reported on Instagram:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Breaking via TikTok:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

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