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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,047

Funny Quotes Topics

13,985

Funny Quotes Images

11,047

9 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Reported on Threads:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Breaking via Telegram:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Trending via Slack:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Home » Funny Theoretically Quotes

Funny theoretically quotes

New funny theoretically quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle between theory and reality – the brain saying 'shh' but the mouth doing its own thing 🤭. Who can relate to this never-ending battle of self-control? It's like our mouths have a mind of their own sometimes, right? 😅 Just remember, sometimes silence truly is golden… in theory! 😉"

For even more funny theoretically quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny theoretically quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,047

Funny Quotes Topics

13,985

Funny Quotes Images

11,047

9 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Seen just now on Discord:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Reported on Telegram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Going viral on Discord:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

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