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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Just shared via Facebook:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Just landed via Twitch:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Live now on TikTok:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Going bananas on Slack:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Just landed via Threads:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Live now on WeChat:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Going viral on YouTube:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

5 days ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

5 days ago

better, humor, living, longing, much, music, nostalgia, past, people, sarcasm, say, stop, thought, turn
Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

5 days ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn
Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

5 days ago

frustration, humor, impatience, irony, me, outside, people, personal, personal space, same, solitude, space, time, timing, turn, why
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

5 days ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

6 days ago

anxiety, bravery, calm, confidence, courage, done, everything, fear, humor, humor quote, i, motivation, relatable, scared, self-awareness, self-improvement, thanks, turn
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

6 days ago

connection, connectivity, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, internet, online, only, option, technology, turn, WhatsApp, Wi-Fi, wifi, wish
I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

6 days ago

am, everyone, forever, greedy, humor, i, keep, longing, love, obsession, possessiveness, sarcasm, selfish, sentimentality, turn, wish
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

6 days ago

disaster, failure, humor, i, irony, met, never, problem, turn
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

6 days ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal

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All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

57 shares on X this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

70 shares on X this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Going viral on WeChat:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Making waves on YouTube:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Just landed via TikTok:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Live now on Snapchat:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Seen just now on Discord:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Activity Log ✨

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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