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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Making waves on YouTube:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Spotted on TikTok:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Just shared via X:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Just shared via Twitch:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Spotted on YouTube:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Just shared via Discord:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

5 days ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

5 days ago

better, humor, living, longing, much, music, nostalgia, past, people, sarcasm, say, stop, thought, turn
Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

5 days ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn
Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

5 days ago

frustration, humor, impatience, irony, me, outside, people, personal, personal space, same, solitude, space, time, timing, turn, why
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

5 days ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

6 days ago

anxiety, bravery, calm, confidence, courage, done, everything, fear, humor, humor quote, i, motivation, relatable, scared, self-awareness, self-improvement, thanks, turn
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

6 days ago

connection, connectivity, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, internet, online, only, option, technology, turn, WhatsApp, Wi-Fi, wifi, wish
I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

6 days ago

am, everyone, forever, greedy, humor, i, keep, longing, love, obsession, possessiveness, sarcasm, selfish, sentimentality, turn, wish
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

6 days ago

disaster, failure, humor, i, irony, met, never, problem, turn
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

6 days ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal

For even more funny turn quotes, hit next 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

86 shares on Discord this month:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

51 shares on X this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just landed via X:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Just shared via Twitch:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just shared via Twitch:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Going viral on Twitch:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Activity Log ✨

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨