Commentary:
Turning up to a date is my version of a grand romantic gesture πππ₯³
103 Funny turn quotes
Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, βI love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!β Then I said, βTurn left.β
If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.
The agony of thinking youβre finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.
I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.
Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, β¦
I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, βWhoooah, big fella, Iβm not the same person I was last night.β
I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.
