111 funny turn quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag ツ

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Jan 21, 2026

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Jan 21, 2026

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Jan 21, 2026

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Jan 21, 2026

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Jan 21, 2026

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Jan 21, 2026

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Jan 20, 2026

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Jan 20, 2026

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Jan 20, 2026

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Jan 20, 2026

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Jan 20, 2026

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Jan 20, 2026

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Jan 20, 2026

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Jan 20, 2026

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Jan 20, 2026

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Jan 20, 2026

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Jan 20, 2026

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Jan 19, 2026

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Jan 19, 2026

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Jan 19, 2026

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Jan 19, 2026

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Jan 19, 2026

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Jan 19, 2026

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Jan 19, 2026

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Jan 19, 2026

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Jan 18, 2026

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Jan 18, 2026

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Jan 18, 2026

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Jan 18, 2026

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Jan 18, 2026

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Jan 18, 2026