Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Freshly posted on X:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Just landed via Instagram:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Counting calories and seconds! 🍰⏱️ Is it my turn yet? 🤔

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

1 month ago
dating, fun, humor, island, job, Job Island, joke, love, Love Island, reality, reality TV, TV, work
My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

1 month ago
bitter, caffeine, coffee, drink, hot, humor, i, just, relationship, used
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

5 months ago
affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

1 month ago
activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral
You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

1 month ago
bad, computer, connection, digital, humor, internet, just, love, pun, relationship, tech
If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

3 months ago
aging, beard, beard grooming, facial, facial hair, gray, gray beard, gray hair, grooming, hair, hit, humor, joke, self-care

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Making waves on TikTok:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Just landed via Discord:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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Activity Log ✨

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏