Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Live now on Twitch:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Making waves on Messenger:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Breaking via Twitch:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Going viral on Threads:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

2 weeks ago
20s, advice, binge, entertainment, going, important, play, press, show, Sopranos, The Sopranos, TV, TV Show, twenty, urge
I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

1 month ago
bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

1 month ago
candy, candy cane, cane, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, twisted
You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

2 months ago
adulthood, cost, dental, dental visit, dentist, expenses, fear, humor, know, mature, maturity, pain, visit
I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

1 month ago
around, day, feel, feeling, going, humor, i, life, me, procrastination, seize, struggle
Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

1 month ago
great, human, human interaction, humor, interaction, lab, learn, learning, mind, new, socializing, subconscious, subconscious mind, swear, swear word, word, words

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Just landed via Twitch:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Live now on Snapchat:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Breaking via Telegram:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Just shared via WeChat:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏