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Oh boy, looks like even God is having second thoughts about his creation! 👀😂 Maybe he's regretting not reading the user manual before hitting the "create" button! 🤷‍♂️ Let's hope a software update can fix this glitch! 🤖 #DivineComedy

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

1 day ago
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I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

1 month ago
childproof, house, humor, i, irony, kids, parenting, safety
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

2 months ago
breathing, humor, interrupt, joke, rest, sleep, threat
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

1 month ago
attitude, curiosity, expression, humor, keep, mischief, people, secret, smile, wonder
Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

1 month ago
activity, advice, angel, dog, dog park, fun, funny advice, humor, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, park, pet, pet humor, pro, pro-tip, snow, snow angel, tip, winter, winter fun
Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

1 month ago
effort, give, humor, i, love, men, minimalism, opportunity, relationship, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Just shared via TikTok:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Spotted on X:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Spotted on TikTok:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

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Activity Log ✨

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Weirdos gonna weird.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

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God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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