Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

37 shares on Threads this month:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.