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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Breaking via Instagram:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Spotted on Slack:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Just landed via Instagram:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Just landed via TikTok:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Making waves on Telegram:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Making waves on Discord:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Going viral on Telegram:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about using a giant eye-hole painting as a TV viewer, humorous and quirky.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just imagine the scene: lurking behind a big painting with eyeholes, hoping for some thrilling espionage, but ending up just watching reality TV… Truly a cutting-edge form of surveillance! 🕵️‍♂️📺 #SpyingOnMyNetflixQueue

activity, big, cut, eyehole, funny activity, humor, i, just, observation, painting, paintings, spy, TV, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Going viral on Discord:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Going viral on Facebook:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Trending via Twitch:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Trending via Threads:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

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