Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Just shared via TikTok:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Going viral on Twitch:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Just landed via Instagram:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

2 months ago

0

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just imagine the scene: lurking behind a big painting with eyeholes, hoping for some thrilling espionage, but ending up just watching reality TV… Truly a cutting-edge form of surveillance! 🕵️‍♂️📺 #SpyingOnMyNetflixQueue

activity, big, cut, eyehole, funny activity, humor, i, just, observation, painting, paintings, spy, TV, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

0

2 months ago

billionaire, commentary, irony, much, nothing, people, satire, social, social commentary, too, too much, wealth
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

0

4 weeks ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where
I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, forward, full, getting, hours, humor, looking, night, overthinking, procrastination, relaxation, sleep
My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, contact, dog, eye, eye contact, humor, just, me, nap, pet
Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

0

2 months ago

cheering, family, games, kid, kids, parenting, rain, rest, softball, sports, Sunday, team, weekend, winning
You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, casual, casual humor, day, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, image, life, observation, person, skinny, spend, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on X this month:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

36 shares on X this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Icarus loved hot wings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just shared via Slack:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Spotted on Discord:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Making waves on Telegram:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Just landed via Reddit:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Breaking via Discord:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴