Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

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TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

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Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

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My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

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I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

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If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

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I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.