Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Making waves on X:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Going viral on Discord:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Just shared via Twitch:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Trending via YouTube:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Going bananas on TikTok:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he's got an electrician's license in love! 💡❤️😂

heart, humor, just, light, lights, love, metaphor, right, romantic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

0

2 months ago

grounded, humor, i, responsibility, self-deprecation, shoulders, stay, weight, world
If you relate to me, get some help!

0

2 months ago

advice, help, humor, me, relate
Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

0

2 months ago

clothing, different, frustration, grief, humor, kind, laundry, losing, stain, tee, white, white tee
Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

0

2 months ago

blame, clothing, frustration, humor, jeans, mystery, shrink, wardrobe
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

0

6 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

0

2 months ago

again, celebrity, football, game, guy, humor, i, sports, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

91 shares on Slack this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

39 shares on X this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Spotted on Pinterest:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Trending via Messenger:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Trending via Messenger:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Just shared via Slack:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

If you relate to me, get some help!

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨