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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Spotted on Telegram:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Seen just now on Discord:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Seen just now on Threads:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Making waves on X:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Trending via Slack:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

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Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.
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Commentary:
🎉🕵️‍♂️ How about we spice up the mistrust with a little pizzazz! Agenda reveal parties for those friends who always seem to have a hidden motive. Who needs surprise birthday parties when you can have surprise agenda reveals, am I right? Just make sure to bring your detective kit and a pinch of skepticism! 🔍😂 #TrustNoOne #AgendaRevealParties

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I will be okay.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Going bananas on TikTok:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Coffee is just goth water.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Just landed via Threads:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Making waves on WeChat:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

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