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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Breaking via Slack:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Just shared via Reddit:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Breaking via X:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Trending via Messenger:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Shared recently on X:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

6 months ago

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hello, boyfriend? It's me, girlfriend, from dating? 🤔🧐 Well, isn't that the most creative introduction ever! Classic mix-up or an attempt to reach peak levels of confusion? 😂💑 No worries, just don't forget to update your contact list with proper labels! 👫📲"

boyfriend, call, communication, dating, girlfriend, hello, humor, love, me, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Spotted on Threads:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Making waves on YouTube:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Spotted on WeChat:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just landed via TikTok:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

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