26 funny hello quotes - Wordgag

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

May 23, 2026

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

May 23, 2026May 23, 2026

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

May 23, 2026

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

May 23, 2026

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

May 22, 2026

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

May 21, 2026

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

May 21, 2026

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

May 21, 2026

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

May 19, 2026

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

May 19, 2026

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Apr 1, 2026

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Apr 1, 2026

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Mar 31, 2026

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Mar 30, 2026

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Mar 30, 2026

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Mar 30, 2026

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Mar 29, 2026

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Mar 29, 2026

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Mar 28, 2026

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Mar 27, 2026

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Mar 27, 2026

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Mar 26, 2026

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Mar 26, 2026

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Mar 26, 2026

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Mar 26, 2026

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Mar 26, 2026