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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Just landed via YouTube:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Seen just now on X:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Just landed via Instagram:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Trending via Snapchat:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

2 months ago

0

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, as they say, a salad without chocolate is just a sad Bowl of Leaves 🥗🍫 Just remember, when your salad starts resembling a Willy Wonka fever dream, you might have crossed the line from healthy eating to a cocoa calamity! 🍫😜

before, chocolate, diet, food, humor, indulgence, much, question, salad, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

0

2 weeks ago

actual, break, date, even, humor, just, life, love, meet, meeting, relationship, somewhere, take, unexpected, unexpected meeting
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

1 week ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

0

4 months ago

body, butt, challenge, clothing, comfort, day, getting, hardest, humor, jeans, over
A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

0

2 months ago

asking, every, haunted, house, little, room, say, someone, something, yourself
I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

0

2 months ago

Authenticator, frustration, humor, logging, logging in, microsoft, sarcasm, sick, technology, work
At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

0

2 months ago

alien, dating, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, love, meet, point, relationship, sure, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

74 shares on X this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

49 shares on Threads this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

17 shares on X this month:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

29 shares on X this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Seen just now on Discord:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Trending via WeChat:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Making waves on WeChat:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

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