Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.
  • My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.
  • Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
  • “Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.
  • Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.
  • The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.