Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Just landed via Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Trending via Messenger:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Spotted on Twitch:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Making waves on Instagram:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Live now on Messenger:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

0
I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate balance of socializing and recharging – a true art form! 🎨💤 Who knew being brilliantly social could require so much downtime in the bedroom cave? 🦸‍♂️💤 Just remember, even superheroes need their rest! 💪😴"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

61 shares on Threads this month:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

36 shares on Threads this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Trending via Slack:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Going bananas on Telegram:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Seen just now on Threads:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴