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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Trending via Discord:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Freshly posted on X:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Trending via Twitch:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

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I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate balance of socializing and recharging – a true art form! 🎨💤 Who knew being brilliantly social could require so much downtime in the bedroom cave? 🦸‍♂️💤 Just remember, even superheroes need their rest! 💪😴"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

65 shares on X this month:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,252

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Trending via X:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Just shared via Slack:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Just shared via YouTube:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on WeChat:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

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