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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Breaking via Reddit:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Seen just now on X:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Live now on Facebook:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Going viral on Reddit:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Spotted on YouTube:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: the bots are better at small talk than I am! 🤖😅 #BotLife"

am, artificial, artificial intelligence, bot, bots, convinced, half, humor, i, intelligence, least, skepticism, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

0

2 months ago

December, expectation, good, humor, me, month, threat, winter
You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

0

2 months ago

before, better, email, finds, God, humor, i, pray, whatever
My phone screen is brighter than my future.

0

2 months ago

bright, future, humor, joke, optimism, phone, screen, technology
Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

0

5 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, bikini, bikini wax, coffee, cup, humor, morning, need, routine, schedule, thing, wax
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time
Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

0

2 days ago

date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

11 shares on Discord this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Live now on Slack:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Just landed via Slack:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨