I am single, please disturb me!

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Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

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“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

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Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

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Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

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When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

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The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

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Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

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Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

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I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

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Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?