Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Attention all cupids, disruptors, and matchmakers: this one's open for business! 💘💥 Proceed with caution or be prepared to dodge some love arrows! 😄 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

0

2 months ago

comedy, favorite, humor, i, joke, me, suck, vampire, wit
Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

0

2 months ago

assumption, bold, climb, die, energy, even, hill, humor, i, laziness, sarcasm, struggle
My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

0

2 months ago

blooper, humor, life, mistakes, moments, reel, whole
There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

0

2 months ago

duality, humor, inner, inner struggle, inside, joke, landlord, me, struggle, tell, wolf
Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

0

5 months ago

anyone, humor, interaction, let, life, people, relationship, remind, sarcasm, social, social interaction, trust, warning, why
A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, humor, keeping, me, quick, safety, shoutout, sidewalk, sidewalks, street, streets, thanks, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

26 shares on Threads this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

20 shares on Threads this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

56 shares on Facebook this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Just shared via Instagram:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Breaking via Instagram:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Going viral on Slack:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Live now on Discord:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Going viral on X:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Just landed via WeChat:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Just landed via Twitch:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am single, please disturb me!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨