Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Attention all cupids, disruptors, and matchmakers: this one's open for business! 💘💥 Proceed with caution or be prepared to dodge some love arrows! 😄 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

0

2 months ago

fetish, foot, girlfriend, guys, humor, joke, just, relationship, sock
Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

0

4 months ago

August, door, farewell, goodbye, hit, humor, let, month, sarcasm
Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, awake, daily, daily struggle, day, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, just, life, nice, nice day, reality, struggle, welcome
You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

0

2 months ago

ask, blood, deadline, form, humor, me, poetic, poetic verse, relationship, request, romance, Valentine, verse, week
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress
Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

0

2 months ago

bored, danger, dangerous, excitement, fun, humor, mischief, warned, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on X this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

53 shares on X this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Breaking via Facebook:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Trending via TikTok:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am single, please disturb me!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨