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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,839

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Shared recently on Slack:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Going viral on X:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Breaking via TikTok:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When you try to out-narrate the AI squad with some good old-fashioned dialectical materialism 🤓📚💥

AI, analysis, asked, humor, i, just, Marxism, obvious, parody, perspective, pretty, satire, technology, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

1 month ago
door, front, front door, honesty, humor, i, liar, mat, sarcasm, welcome, welcome mat
Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

5 months ago
age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, joke, life, man, men, why
I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

3 months ago
bite, cause, honesty, hurts, i, mind, pain, speak, speaking, speaking mind, tongue, wit
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

5 months ago
25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

2 months ago
chores, cleaning, family, humor, i, laundry, life, parenting, ruin, teen, today
If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

1 month ago
anything, bee, education, humor, irony, language, learning, lot, me, media, ready, social, social media, spelling, taught, Twitter, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Just shared via X:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Trending via Discord:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Trending via Slack:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

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“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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