Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Going viral on Discord:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Making waves on YouTube:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Just landed via YouTube:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Spotted on X:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Making waves on Discord:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you try to out-narrate the AI squad with some good old-fashioned dialectical materialism 🤓📚💥

AI, analysis, asked, humor, i, just, Marxism, obvious, parody, perspective, pretty, satire, technology, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

0

2 months ago

body, body grooming, bush, fashion, grooming, humor, loss, pants, pants size, shave, shaved, size, weight, weight loss
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday life, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, movement, moving, rage, road, road rage, slow, slow movement, someone, store, walking
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

0

5 months ago

humor, memory, morning, realization, regret, remembering, waking, waking up, worst
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, gathering, gatherings, humor, interaction, kill, personality, resilience, social, social awkwardness, social gathering, social interaction, weird
At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

0

2 months ago

children, everyone, humor, job, kid, leave, lie, office, want, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

50 shares on X this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

75 shares on Discord this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

12 shares on WeChat this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

26 shares on Discord this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

86 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Going viral on X:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨