Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Just landed via X:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Spotted on Discord:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Trending via Messenger:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My wallet waves the white flag the moment I see fancy pens and washi tapes 🏳️🖊️🎨💸

buying, financial, financial irresponsibility, i, impulse, impulse buying, irresponsibility, irresponsible, Japanese, most, person, second, shopping, stationary, stationary store, step, store, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

0

2 months ago

again, color, color preference, emotional, emotional healing, girl, girls, healing, i, liking, means, pink, preference, start, think
Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

0

2 months ago

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi
The void screams into me.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, existential, humor, irony, me, scream, screams, self-reflection, void
Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

0

2 months ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something
Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, eat, enough, fitness, generate, heart, humor, i, intensity, irony, love, muscle, new, protein, romance, think, thought, today, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

26 shares on X this month:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Trending via Instagram:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Breaking via WeChat:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Spotted on Reddit:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Spotted on X:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

The void screams into me.

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨