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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

24 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Seen just now on Discord:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Trending via Twitch:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Spotted on Telegram:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Trending via Facebook:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Spotted on Facebook:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Making waves on Threads:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Spotted on Facebook:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

3 months ago

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Well, it sounds like you nailed the 'doing nothing' part perfectly! Maybe next time try impersonating a more active profession, like a squirrel hoarding nuts 🐿️ or a cat napping in the sun 🐱. Good luck dodging the long arm of the law, my politically inert friend! 🚔"

arrest, arrested, believe, doing, doing nothing, humor, i, impersonation, irony, just, nothing, politician, satire, sitting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

24 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Making waves on Slack:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Spotted on Twitch:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Trending via Snapchat:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Breaking via Reddit:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Going viral on Discord:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

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