Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I put the mess in domestic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Just shared via Threads:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Freshly posted on Slack:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Trending via Reddit:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Trending via TikTok:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we're all just failing to impress each other here 🎭🚫🤷‍♂️

attitude, care, disappointed, disappointment, humor, i, impressed, independence, me, parental, parental relationship, parents, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

0

2 months ago

couch, doing, floor, furniture, here, humor, i, irony, know, lifestyle, living, living room, middle, money, moved, people, poor, put, rich, room, still, struggle, wall, wrong
“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

0

2 months ago

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting
I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

0

3 months ago

age, aging, am, annoyance, being, door, doors, humor, i, left, light, lights, loud, noise, noises, open, people, where
When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

0

2 months ago

ding, excuse, humor, just, kids, parenting, response, say, someone
Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

0

4 weeks ago

awkwardness, cool, crush, ever, humor, just, love, obsession, over, person, relationship, sex, tried, unrequited, unrequited love
Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

0

6 months ago

day, due, every, getting, humor, improvement, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, self, self-improvement, strength

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WeChat this month:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

26 shares on Discord this month:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I need money, not feelings.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Going viral on TikTok:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Making waves on Telegram:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Going bananas on Telegram:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Spotted on WeChat:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Trending via Pinterest:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨