Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Trending via Slack:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Just shared via Threads:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Making waves on Twitch:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending via YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Going viral on Slack:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Trending via Twitch:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs people when you have cheese? 🧀😂"

cheese, favorite, favourite, food, humor, i, joke, person, preference, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

0

2 months ago

bold, confidence, creativity, design, humor, italic, never, regular, typography
Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

0

4 months ago

challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle
I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

0

2 months ago

comfort, couch, give, humor, i, just, lazy, love, relax, self-care
“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

0

2 months ago

bill, frustration, gratitude, humor, i, paid, payment, sarcasm, shut, thanks
We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

0

4 months ago

back, bring, courting, dating, flower, flowers, hell, horse, humor, man, message, modern, modern dating, need, old fashioned, romance, seriously, text, text message, tonight
There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

0

2 months ago

apparently, big, big cat, case, casual, cat, coolers, cougar, cougar warning, humor, i, just, misunderstanding, neighborhood, neighborhood safety, nothing, safety, warning, wine, wine coolers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

12 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Just shared via Reddit:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Making waves on Instagram:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Trending via Messenger:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Going viral on Discord:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Trending via Telegram:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Breaking via Discord:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨