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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Breaking via Discord:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Freshly posted on X:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Spotted on Instagram:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Just landed via Messenger:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Just shared via Slack:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Making waves on TikTok:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Definitely! Here's a fun comment you can use:

"Better yet, focus on your own adorable chaos! 😄👶🙃"

advice, aunty, child, family, focus, hear, humor, i, know, needs, own, parenting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

0

2 months ago

activity, again, awkward, awkward situation, cancelled, date, funny activity, holiday, holiday tradition, humor, i, random, restaurant, significant, significant other, situation, tell, time, tradition, where, women, year
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

0

2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

0

5 months ago

again, attitude, breakup, communication, conversation, going, gratitude, humor, i, interaction, me, never, relationship, response, right, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, talk, thank, thing
Self-cleaning conscience.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, conscience, humor, introspection, self-cleaning, wit
Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

0

2 months ago

bring, consequences, days, devastation, digestive, digestive system, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, nobody, stuffing, system, warning
The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

0

2 months ago

end, fantasy, forever, humor, literature, Tolkien, Twitter, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Threads this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

38 shares on X this month:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Shared recently on Threads:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Trending via YouTube:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Going viral on Twitch:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Live now on Snapchat:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Self-cleaning conscience.

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨