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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,849

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Just shared via Twitch:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

0
I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical transformation that occurs when the boss utters those dreaded words – 'You should be working.' 🧙‍♂️ Suddenly, a totally different, more productive (but slightly less fun) version of yourself emerges. It's like a superhero origin story, except with less crime-fighting and more spreadsheets. 💼 #WorkModeActivated"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

84 shares on Slack this month:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

14 shares on Threads this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

9 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Spotted on WeChat:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Breaking via Messenger:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Spotted on Twitch:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Breaking via YouTube:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Making waves on Slack:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

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