Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,913

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Live now on YouTube:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on Slack:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Just landed via WeChat:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Breaking via Facebook:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Seen just now on Discord:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Going viral on Instagram:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The mysterious age saga continues! 🤔🎂 Time zones for birthdays? 😂

40s, age, before, birthday, confusion, forty, humor, i, know, memory, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a person for me and me only.

0

2 months ago

humor, individuality, invent, invention, me, only, person, should, uniqueness
The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

0

2 months ago

cause, communication, emotion, emotional, emotional intelligence, female, female rage, frustration, having, humor, intelligence, low, much, rage, sarcasm, say, too
Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

0

2 months ago

contact, day, device, every, house, humor, i, Interpol, irony, location, login, me, much, new, oh, phone, sarcasm, say, single, thank, warning
Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

0

2 months ago

bit, body, contribution, creativity, donating, English, English lit, enough, humor, just, lit, literature, mine, science, spice, things, unique, unique contribution
Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

0

1 month ago

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait
You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

0

2 months ago

allowed, beauty, confidence, crazy, hot, humor, personality, self-expression

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

47 shares on Facebook this month:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Just landed via WeChat:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Trending via Pinterest:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Shared recently on Threads:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a person for me and me only.

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨