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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Just landed via TikTok:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Just landed via Twitch:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Spotted on Facebook:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just landed via Discord:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The mysterious age saga continues! 🤔🎂 Time zones for birthdays? 😂

40s, age, before, birthday, confusion, forty, humor, i, know, memory, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

2 months ago

expectation, Google, humor, insanity, irony, just, repetition, results
They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

2 months ago

coming, coming over, home, humor, invitation, joke, over, place, try
You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

2 months ago

appetite, asked, bottomless, bottomless pit, eater, food, humor, i, kid, lunch, meal, parenting, picky, picky eater, pit, thanks, want, yesterday
Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

2 months ago

born, cog, existential, forced, forest, frolicker, humor, irony, machine, nature, struggle, work
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

2 months ago

again, bore, boring, boss, conference, humor, me, show, work, Zoom
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

2 months ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

59 shares on X this month:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Trending via Slack:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Just landed via Threads:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Is this art or trash?

Making waves on Threads:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Making waves on YouTube:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨