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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Live now on Slack:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on Slack:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Live now on Reddit:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about aging confusion, humorously questioning whether they're in their mid-40s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The mysterious age saga continues! 🤔🎂 Time zones for birthdays? 😂

40s, age, before, birthday, confusion, forty, humor, i, know, memory, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Windmill? Big fan.

2 days ago

big, fan, humor, joke, pun, windmill, wordplay
So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

5 days ago

bag, bags, collection, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery bag, humor, inside, keep, life, observation, organization
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

2 days ago

bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

2 weeks ago

adult, behavior, comment, doll, funny behavior, humor, i, real, sarcasm, voodoo, voodoo doll
I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

2 weeks ago

activity, angry, being, desire, driving, enjoy, frustration, humor, i, sit, talent
Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

1 day ago

big, compliment, cooking, family, flex, food, good, having, humor, mom

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WeChat this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

89 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Just landed via YouTube:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Making waves on Facebook:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Going viral on Slack:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Making waves on X:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Live now on Telegram:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Making waves on X:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Windmill? Big fan.

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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