Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Going viral on Messenger:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Just shared via TikTok:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Just shared via Slack:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Trending via Snapchat:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Live now on Telegram:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Spotted on Discord:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
😂🍔 If your burger arrives sideways and you lose it, maybe the problem isn't the sandwich! 🍟😆

anger, anyone, fast, fast food, food, food order, frustration, humor, i, order, over, personality, reaction, trust

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49 shares on Instagram this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

67 shares on Slack this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

10 shares on Discord this month:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Spotted on Threads:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Making waves on Reddit:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Trending via WeChat:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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