I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

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I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

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The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

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If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

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My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

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French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

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There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

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Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

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I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.