Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Commentary:
“Ah, the ol’ ‘I’m not ignoring the rules, I just didn’t notice you, Officer’ defense 🚓😅 It’s all fun and games until you get caught… and end up with a ticket souven-WHEEEE! 🚗💨”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

    Commentary:
    🐶😂 “Who’s a good boy? Apparently not Bob, because he’s turning your rug into his personal bathroom! 😅 Talk about mixing up identities – Bob’s living his best (but most mischievous) human name life! 🐕💩 #DogsWithHumanNames”

  • Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

    Commentary:
    “Apologies, I am currently booked solid avoiding responsibilities as the horrors of reality keep knocking on my door like unwanted salespeople 🚪👻 #NotTodayReality #ProcrastinationGameStrong”

  • I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your closet is ready for a philosophical debate! 🤔 Maybe it’s time to break out that “existential crisis chic” outfit you’ve been saving for the perfect occasion! Who knew Nietzsche had insight into both philosophy and fashion dilemmas? Time to show that closet who’s boss and strut your stuff on that date! 💃🕺

  • I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like this person’s nude game is so strong, they’re a one-hit wonder! 📷😄 No need for an encore when you nail it on the first try! 💁‍♂️👌”

  • Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the weekend – a magical time when Saturday is in full swing, and It’s Monday Tomorrow is lurking in the shadows like a Monday ninja ready to attack! 🎉🕺🏼😅 #WeekendVibes”

  • Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the joy of being held hostage in a meeting – it’s like a free ticket to a boredom party! 🕰️🤦‍♂️ #OfficeLife”