Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.
  • Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.
  • Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.
  • You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.
  • Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.
  • Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.