Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Seen just now on Threads:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Making waves on Slack:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Spotted on Instagram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

2 months ago

0

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of living with a dog: no need to worry about dropped food because you've got a furry cleanup crew on standby! 🐾 Who needs a vacuum when you've got a hungry pooch around? 😂🐶 #LifeHack"

cleaning, dog, dogs, dropped, dropped food, food, humor, i, joke, people, pet, pick, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

0

2 months ago

advice, back, bedtime, before, breaks, career, dating, ex, fix, going, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, recommend, relationship, sleep, trying
Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

0

2 months ago

education, everyone, fail, glasses, humor, irony, knows, perception, smart, test
I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

0

2 months ago

assistant, back, call, couch, cushions, here, humor, i, lost, phone, smartphone, technology, voice, voice assistant, yell
I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, allergy, days, death, diagnosis, died, feeling, googled, health, humor, i, internet, joke, symptom, symptoms, well
Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

0

5 months ago

age, bully, humor, insult, little, old, teasing
There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, confinement, humanity, humor, irony, sadness, smoker, smokers, terrarium, travel, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Telegram this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Trending via WeChat:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Breaking via Reddit:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Live now on Discord:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Going viral on Telegram:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Making waves on Discord:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Just landed via Twitch:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴