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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Just shared via Snapchat:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Trending via Twitch:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Going bananas on Slack:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

I have thought one billion times about everything.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's a billion more times than I've ever thought about going for a run! 🏃‍♂️💭😂

billion, everything, exaggeration, humor, hyperbole, i, overthinking, thinking, thought, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

0

3 weeks ago

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year
I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

0

2 months ago

celebration, drink, fun, humor, lighthearted, merry, party, tispy
Life is just resetting your password until you die.

0

2 months ago

death, die, existence, humor, irony, just, life, password, resetting, struggle, technology
She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

0

2 months ago

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab
It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

0

2 months ago

distraction, life, media, need, overwhelm, perspective, social, social media, tweet
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, intimacy, kill, life, relationships, resilience, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

10 shares on Threads this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

69 shares on Slack this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Spotted on Reddit:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Going bananas on TikTok:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Making waves on Twitch:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Trending via WeChat:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Going bananas on Threads:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Trending via Reddit:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨