I hope this email makes you quit your job.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

12 shares on YouTube this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.