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Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of feeling like a grocery store broccoli! 🥦 Just hanging out in the misty rain, trying not to get soggy. Who knew vegetables could have such relatable moments? 😄 #BroccoliGoals"

broccoli, comparison, feel, feeling, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, little, misty, nature, rain, store, unusual, unusual comparison

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

0

3 months ago

aging, alone, forest, humor, i, independence, lifestyle, lived, older, solitude, understand, why, witch, woods
How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

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2 months ago

boss, dare, early, humor, i, meeting, set, sneak, time, work
The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

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2 months ago

activity, cocktails, dining, dinner, enjoyment, food, fun, fun activity, getting, going, good, leisure, life, point, restaurant
My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

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4 months ago

bad, breakup, ex, girlfriend, humor, i, idiot, idiots, jealousy, life, love, love life, new, new relationship, relationship, sarcasm, smiling, somewhere, telling, thinking
Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

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2 months ago

around, donuts, food, humor, people, safety, self-care, skinny, storms, weight
I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

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2 months ago

bet, Bigfoot, cheeseburger, creature, food, friendship, hangout, humor, i, mythical, mythical creature, once, time, us, wildlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

61 shares on Discord this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

59 shares on Slack this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

66 shares on Discord this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Just landed via YouTube:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Just landed via Snapchat:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Going viral on Discord:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Going bananas on X:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Going viral on Threads:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

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Activity Log ✨

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨