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Commentary:
🐶😂 "Who's a good boy? Apparently not Bob, because he's turning your rug into his personal bathroom! 😅 Talk about mixing up identities – Bob's living his best (but most mischievous) human name life! 🐕💩 #DogsWithHumanNames"

again, Bob, dogs, human, human names, humor, i, love, names, ownership, pet, pet ownership, poop, rug, say, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

1 month ago
around, avoidance, cleaning, cloth, cut, dirt, floor, humor, i, just, kitchen, line, procrastination, relatable, robot, same, spin, vacuum
Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

5 months ago
am, black, black sheep, exactly, family, gold, gold star, humor, i, identity, personality, sheep, star, why
“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

4 weeks ago
cheese, craving, depressed, depression, enough, food, humor, hunger, world
Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

1 month ago
being, confidence, encouragement, humor, individuality, self-acceptance, start, stop, uniqueness, weird, weirdness, worrying
My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

1 month ago
contradiction, expectations, household, humor, mom, parenting, rules, towel
Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

1 month ago
apology, awkwardness, eye, eye widening, eyes, first meeting, humor, meeting, met, prophecy, sorry, whispering, widening

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

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I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

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I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

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Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Going bananas on Discord:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Just landed via YouTube:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Live now on Instagram:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

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I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

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I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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