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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

What are cats even trying to do?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Going viral on TikTok:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Making waves on Threads:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Spotted on Twitch:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

2 months ago

0

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶😂 "Who's a good boy? Apparently not Bob, because he's turning your rug into his personal bathroom! 😅 Talk about mixing up identities – Bob's living his best (but most mischievous) human name life! 🐕💩 #DogsWithHumanNames"

again, Bob, dogs, human, human names, humor, i, love, names, ownership, pet, pet ownership, poop, rug, say, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

0

3 months ago

coffee, delusion, humor, i, love, morning, sarcasm, smell
Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

0

2 months ago

always, be kind, fun, humor, interaction, jacuzzi, kind, kindness, know, never, own, ownership, social, social interaction, surprise
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

0

2 months ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, faster, humor, lurking, Monday, nothing, procrastination, remembering, reminder, ruin, ruins, shadow, weekend, workweek
When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

0

2 months ago

back, circle, circle back, expectation, humor, new, new year, procrastination, year
This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

0

2 months ago

confidentiality, forget, humor, joke, memory, need, post, secret, seen, top-secret

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

20 shares on X this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

58 shares on X this month:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

63 shares on Discord this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate math, but I love counting money.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Just landed via Slack:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Live now on Messenger:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Going bananas on Threads:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Trending via Reddit:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Shared recently on Threads:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

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