Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Shared recently on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Going bananas on Discord:

My recliner and I go way back.

Going viral on Telegram:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Trending via Reddit:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I look in the mirror, I'm convinced it's secretly winking back at me 😎🪞✨

am, beauty, confidence, humor, i, love, me, mirror, mirrors, pretty, reflection, remind, self-love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

2 months ago

humor, i, joke, kids, parenting, reason, relationship, stupid, ugly, why
Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

2 months ago

cassette, cassette tape, classical, classical music, humor, music, nostalgia, question, tape, time
When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

5 days ago

humor, i, motivation, stoppable, temperature, too, unstoppable, warm, warmer, warmth, weather
I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

2 months ago

humor, humor humor, i, joke, messages, mixed, nuts, playful, pun, snack, wordplay
Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

2 months ago

anytime, cult, estate, estate sale, good, good time, humor, plan, planned, sale, sales, something, soon, time, trying, wild, wild plan
Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

5 months ago

family, humor, me, parent, parents, relationship, sarcasm, telling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

All I think about is death and sex.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Trending via Threads:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Shared recently on Threads:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Trending via Twitch:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Breaking via TikTok:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Going viral on Twitch:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨