Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Just landed via Facebook:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Trending via Facebook:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Shared recently on YouTube:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Breaking via Threads:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Seen just now on Threads:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

2 months ago

0

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of dramatic phone call endings! 👋📞 Now we have to settle for passive-aggressive button taps and virtual *click* noises. Where's the thrill in that? Bring back the satisfaction of a solid slam – it's like therapy for your fingers! 💁‍♂️🔨

anger, call, communication, days, end, frustration, i, miss, nostalgia, phone, phone call, receiver, slam, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

0

2 months ago

age, age humor, aging, body, bones, humor, joke, me, perspective, self-deprecating, still, young, youth
Only DM me if you like disappointment.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

0

2 months ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, Easter, Friday, health, summer, Tuesday
Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

0

1 month ago

account, care, device, devices, Gmail, humor, much, new, new device, notification, relationship, security, sign, sign in, someone, technology
Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, comparison, drink, feeling, foot, humor, sensation, sparkling, sparkling water, taste, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

72 shares on X this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

67 shares on Threads this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

46 shares on X this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m running out of people I like.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Just shared via Slack:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴