Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Trending via Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Shared recently on X:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Live now on Twitch:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When ignorance was bliss and my biggest worry was accidentally stepping on a Lego! 🤯😂🦶✨

before, found, humor, i, innocence, knowledge, miss, much, nostalgia, perspective, reflection, too, world, worldview

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

2 months ago

alien, aliens, baseline, explain, explanation, humor, language, misunderstanding, practicing, pronunciation, same, sound, Vaseline
Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

2 months ago

countdown, future, humor, job, life, patience, time, work
I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

2 months ago

curve, dieting, distance, fitness, flatten, flatten curve, food, humor, i, need, pandemic, refrigerator, social, social distance
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

2 months ago

afterlife, complain, heaven, humor, ID, manager, reason, sarcasm, want
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

2 months ago

attitude, friend, friends, here, humor, just, noise, statement
I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

3 months ago

40, age, alarm, alarm clock, bladder, changes, clock, humor, i, life, life changes, need, over, over 40, sleep, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Discord this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

61 shares on X this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

59 shares on X this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Just shared via X:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Making waves on TikTok:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just landed via WeChat:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨