Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.
  • The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • “Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.
  • My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.
  • I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.