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Commentary:
"Why hire someone when you can just develop a self-slapping mechanism? 🤚🍔 It's the ultimate diet plan – guaranteed to keep those midnight snack cravings at bay! 😂 #HandSlapDiet"

diet, eating, food, hand, hire, humor, i, just, need, slap, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, fitness, flat, flat stomach, health, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, only, past, stomach, thing, weight
After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

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2 months ago

30, adult, adult life, after, aging, aging humor, bedtime, getting, health, humor, life, night, pee, sleep
Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

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2 months ago

40s, age, challenge, diet, fitness, humor, laugh, lol, losing, weight
I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

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2 months ago

carrot, cart, chase, chasing, determination, direction, effort, humor, humor in effort, i, lighthearted, mind, motivation, playful, pursuit, same
Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

0

2 months ago

fighting, guy, humor, parents, pictures, rorschach, where
Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

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2 months ago

being, coding, debugging, detective, humor, movie, normal, problem-solving, programming, self-talk, talking, where, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Messenger this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

48 shares on Threads this month:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

27 shares on Slack this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

20 shares on Threads this month:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Shared recently on WeChat:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Making waves on YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Going viral on Telegram:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Trending via Twitch:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨