Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Trending via Telegram:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Just shared via Threads:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sane is boring.

Just shared via Slack:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Spotted on X:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Going viral on Twitch:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Spotted on X:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of a crying baby as the ultimate 'get out of socializing' card! 😅👶 Sorry, folks, duty calls! #ParentingPerks"

baby, crying, envy, escape, event, gathering, humor, i, leave, parents, social, social gathering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, good, humor, i, intentions, me, motivation, procrastination, real, self-awareness, set
The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bro, daily, daily grind, else, expectations, frustration, grind, humor, i, know, me, question, response, say, want, work, workplace
Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

0

3 months ago

am, computer, document, humor, i, identity, joke, just, question, tech, tech joke, untitled, Untitled Document
By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

0

2 months ago

another, CVS, finished, humor, i, joke, pharmacy, prescription, receipt, refill, shopping, time, waiting
Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

0

2 months ago

am, call, calls, devastating, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, meeting, observation, online, online meeting, over-nodder, realization, social, social interaction, video, video call
Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

0

2 months ago

affection, asleep, exhaustion, fall, humor, i, joke, love, relationship, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

34 shares on X this month:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Spotted on YouTube:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Spotted on X:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Breaking via Discord:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Spotted on Twitch:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Just landed via Discord:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨