I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.