Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Live now on Messenger:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Just shared via YouTube:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one way to protect your home and your wallet! 😂🏠💰

humor, i, money, neighbor, neighbors, saved, saving, security, security system, stealing, system

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

0

2 months ago

cheer, cheer up, encouragement, future, humor, irony, mistake, optimism
Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

0

2 months ago

coined, humor, repetition, term, wordplay
I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

0

2 months ago

activity, bored, coup, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, kick, main, main one, poly-relationship, stage
If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, just, problem, realize, sad, sadness, self-awareness, sing, voice, worse
I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

0

2 months ago

culture, eating, fashion, food, humor, jeans, pronounce, sandwich, style, trendy
Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

0

2 months ago

car, cars, cream, funny idea, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, minor, minor offense, music, offense, over, play, police, police car, should, something, truck

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

96 shares on X this month:

I think my type is a nice person.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Going bananas on Slack:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Making waves on Threads:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Making waves on Slack:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Just shared via Discord:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Trending via WeChat:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨